Fighting for Your Life...and Winning
Dear Reader,
For those who know me, know that I love the saying "fighting for my life." Now that I have been at Yale for almost two months, I notice the saying becoming an anthem for my life. The classes are hard, as to be expected; the extracurriculars are fun, but keep you running all over the place, and not to mention trying to have a social life, eating, and sleeping. Well, reader, do I have a tale for you...
But to go back, what does "fighting for my life" even mean? When I use it, it usually means I have a lot going on: homework, exams, hobbies, and trying to find time to de-stress or relax. So I am fighting for peace and completeness, that is, in my studies and in my mind. To have an incomplete mind is to have scrambled thoughts, which is not helpful at all. Trying to figure out what to do next becomes a burden. Like, should I study chemistry, go to the dining hall, or take a small break by watching my T.V. show? I've experienced this over my time here at least once a week.
Each week, I find that I spend many, many hours studying, but don't worry, I still eat. I go to class, come back to my room, take an hour break, study for hours, go get food, and come back to study for hours again. So of course I felt down in the dumps and tired all the time, even though I was getting 8 hours of sleep. Now, I realize that I have not been following my own advice: LOVE YOUR LIFE. If you don't love your life, make a change because nothing is worth sacrificing the love of living. So here I am, making that change.
You may be asking, "Kemora, what exactly did you change?" Well, my curious friend, I've tried new study habits that actually put the information in my brain (the power of flashcards and active recall). I continue to get my 8 hours of sleep because those who say you don't need sleep and only get 4-5 hours are going to feel the effects eventually, realizing that they are living off the bare minimum. And the bare minimum is the quickest way to start no longer loving your life. The last and most important thing I changed cannot be named at this time. Sorry to be so mysterious, but it will come out at the right time...
But for motivation, check in with yourself. Ask those hard questions: Am I actually happy, and what is my future going to look like? Do I have the right people in my life? Speaking of people, Jesus has been my go-to. I've been stressed and tired of being stressed, but truly knowing that God has a plan for me has given me a peace that cannot be described. If you aren't a believer, that's okay, but know that Jesus, my Creator and yours, loves you. Find out what is most important to you, and don't be scared of the change to come. Embrace it.
With that, going to the winning part. I was on the phone with my mother one night. I was expressing how it wasn't the brightest of times here at Yale for me. Of course, I had to say my iconic line, "I am fighting for my life," but with the unexpected additional line of, "But I am slipping, and I'm not sure if I am going to make it." Emotional, right. But my mother's advice that night stuck with me. She said, "No, keep fighting because you will make it. It may be hard, but YOU will win. YOU are winning. God has got you, and he will bring you to victory. So while you are stressing now, tired now, look ahead for the brightest future to come."
And that, dear reader, is the power of God. So thank those closest to you and be grateful for their impact on your life. I know I couldn't ask for a better support system. Whether you have a good one or not, keep fighting the good fight. Keep fighting for your life and do it with flaws (it makes for a better story). I believe in you, and so does Jesus. Remember, the world is waiting for who you are becoming
